The B.S. Excuses Holding You Back (And the Real Reason You Haven't Started)
How many conversations have you had that start with the phrase, “I’ve always wanted to…”?
“I’ve always wanted to start my own business.”
“I’ve always wanted to learn how to invest.”
“I’ve always wanted to build something of my own, something that gives me real freedom.”
You’ve had these conversations with friends over brunch, with your partner late at night, and a thousand times in the quiet of your own mind. The world is full of brilliant, capable, and ambitious women who have incredible dreams of building their own lives on their own terms. Yet, for so many, those dreams remain permanently stuck in the “someday” category.
Why? What is the invisible barrier that separates the woman who dreams from the woman who does?
We often hide behind a set of well-rehearsed, socially acceptable excuses. But if we're being brutally honest with ourselves, those excuses are nothing more than elegant window dressing for a much deeper, more personal roadblock. It’s time to pull back the curtain, call B.S. on the stories we tell ourselves, and confront the one thing that is truly holding you back from your empire.
Let’s Debunk the Obvious Excuses (It’s Not What You Think)
When you ask someone why they haven’t started their business or made their first investment, you’ll almost always hear one of two answers. Let’s dismantle them right now.
Excuse #1: “I Don’t Have the Money.”
This is, by far, the most common excuse. It feels real, tangible, and absolute. The truth? It’s rarely about the actual lack of funds. As a friend who studies human behavior once told me, "Addicts and drug dealers always find money for what they need. So the rest of us can, too."
While the comparison is jarring, the point is profound. It’s not about the availability of resources; it’s about the power of resourcefulness. When the “why” is strong enough, the “how” always appears. In 2025, you can start a global business for the price of a few months of Starbucks lattes. The lean startup model, dropshipping, affiliate marketing, coaching, and digital products have shattered the old paradigm that required massive capital investment.
The woman who is truly committed doesn't say, "I don't have money." She asks, "How can I find the money?" She works an extra shift, sells things she doesn't need, or cuts her expenses to the bone for six months. Money is a tool, and like any tool, it can be acquired if you are motivated enough.
Excuse #2: “I Don’t Have the Time.”
This is the second most popular excuse, especially for ambitious women who are already juggling careers, families, and a thousand other responsibilities. It feels impossibly true. But again, let’s be honest.
Every single one of us has the same 24 hours in a day. Beyoncé has the same 24 hours. Oprah has the same 24 hours. The difference is in the allocation of those hours. Take a hard, honest look at your screen time report this week. The hours we waste on mindless scrolling, binge-watching, and other distractions are often the very hours our future empire is begging for.
“I don’t have time” is a polite way of saying, “It’s not a priority.” When something is a true, burning priority, you don’t find the time; you make the time. You wake up an hour earlier. You use your lunch break to draft a business plan instead of scrolling. You sacrifice a few weekends. Time isn’t the issue; priority is.
The Real Culprit: A Crisis of Confidence
So, if it’s not about money and it’s not about time, what is the real reason you haven't started?
It's confidence. Or, more accurately, a lack of it.
Lack of confidence is the silent killer of dreams. It’s the invisible force that keeps you planning instead of doing, researching instead of launching, and dreaming instead of acting. The excuses we just dismantled? They are nothing more than a cover for a deep, primal fear.
It's the fear of failure. The fear of judgment. The fear of looking foolish. The fear of not being smart enough, good enough, or ready enough.
This lack of confidence creates a vicious cycle of inaction. You feel like you need more information to feel confident, so you spend months in "research mode." You read every book, take every course, and create a 50-page business plan. This feels productive, but it's a trap. It's an intellectual hiding place that protects you from the real, messy, and terrifying work of putting yourself out there.
Here's the uncomfortable truth: Most people never start because they want certainty before they act. But certainty is a myth. It doesn’t come first. It doesn’t exist. The only antidote is to act in spite of the uncertainty.
The Success Sequence: BE. DO. HAVE.
The legendary "Rich Dad Poor Dad" author Robert Kiyosaki teaches a simple but profound framework for success that flips the conventional model on its head. Most people operate on a HAVE-DO-BE sequence. They think, "When I HAVE the money and time, I will DO the things I need to do, and then I will BE successful." This is the path to staying stuck forever.
The wealthy and successful operate on the opposite sequence: BE. DO. HAVE.
1. BE (The Identity Shift): This is the foundation. Before you do anything, you must first decide who you need to BE. You must adopt the identity, mindset, and belief system of the person you want to become. You decide, "I AM an entrepreneur," or "I AM an investor." Not "I want to be." This isn't about "faking it till you make it"; it's about having faith in your future self and starting to embody her qualities today. It is a deep, internal decision to become someone who believes in herself, trusts her own judgment, and is capable of figuring things out.
2. DO (Imperfect Action):Once you have decided who you are, you must DO the things that person would do. This is where you take messy, imperfect, and courageous action. You build the clunky first version of your website. You make the awkward first sales call. You buy your first small-cap ETF, even if your hands are shaking. You make mistakes, you learn, you iterate, and you improve. The "DOING" is the process of closing the gap between the person you have decided to BE and the results you currently HAVE.
3. HAVE (The Inevitable Result): Only after you have aligned your "BE" and your "DO" will you finally HAVE the results you desire. The successful business, the profitable investment portfolio, the financial freedom—these are not the goals themselves. They are the natural, inevitable outcomes of becoming the right person and taking the right actions. The "HAVE" is simply the physical evidence of your internal transformation.
The Confidence Paradox: Building It From Scratch
This presents a paradox: if you need confidence to BE, but action (DOING) is what builds confidence, where on earth do you start? You start by building it, brick by brick. Real, unshakable confidence doesn’t just appear like lightning. It’s built with two things:
1. Knowledge (Borrowing Confidence): You kickstart the process by learning from people who have already succeeded. When you immerse yourself in the stories, strategies, and mindsets of successful entrepreneurs, you are essentially "borrowing" their confidence. Their journey provides a roadmap, and their success becomes proof that the destination is real. This is why we invest in courses, read books, listen to podcasts, and join communities. You are downloading the belief systems that will fuel your own journey.
2. Experience (Building Your Own):Knowledge alone isn't enough. You must pair it with action to forge your own, real-world experience. Confidence isn't built in one giant leap; it's built by stacking small, tangible wins. It's the thrill of your first $50 sale. It's the pride of finally hitting "publish" on your website. It's the relief of surviving your first difficult client negotiation. Each small action provides a dose of experience, which builds a little bit of earned confidence, which then fuels the next, slightly bigger action.
Confidence comes from action. So stop waiting. Stop planning forever. Stop doing nothing.
Decide today who you need to BE. Then, go DO one small thing that person would do.
That’s how the rich do it. That’s how empires are built.